THE ASTOUNDING TRUTH ABOUT LOVE

God is love. He made us in His own image.

We are the objects of His undying affection.

Literally.

He would rather die than live without us and He proved that for us a very long time ago.

We were made by love to be loved.

When we receive love, we are receiving God, who is love.

To be loved is why we were created. When we are loved we are fulfilling our purpose.

This is why it is so tragic that many of us struggle with love.

We doubt that God loves us.

We deflect God’s love because we are convinced we’re not worthy of it.

We dismiss the love of others for the same reason.

Yet love is why we are here.

Without love, we are nothing.

Without the love of Christ, we can’t love others.

Without God’s love we can’t see Him or hear Him as He intended.

God is love. If we resist love, we resist God.

Here is the truth:

Love made us.

Love sets us free.

Love removes all fear.

Love reunites us with God (who is love).

Love restores our identity (as people who were made to be loved).

Love allows us to see others as they are (people who are made by love to be loved).

Love endures all things.

Love overcomes.

Love transforms us.

Love never dies.

The part of us that is loved is the part of us that is eternally intertwined with God (who is love).

Do you know who made you?

Love made you.

Do you know why?

So that you could be loved.

Do you know who you are?

You are loved.

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"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." (Ephesians 3:14-21)

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FURTHER READING

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*Everything We Need

MY DELIGHT

“Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart” – Psalm 37:4

For many years I understood this verse to be saying: “Be faithful to do what God wants and He will answer your prayers for the stuff you want”, but that’s not at all what this verse is saying.

One way we know that this isn’t want the verse means is by simply looking around us. There are hundreds, maybe millions, of sincere, humble, God-fearing Christians all around us who do not always get what they want. They get cancer. They get fired. They get cheated on by their spouses. Their children die suddenly. Their dreams of fame, fortune or success never come to pass. Therefore, this verse isn’t promising that God will give us whatever we want as long as we make Him happy.

This materialistic, self-centered, nihilistic reading of the passage says more about our own hearts than anything else, really. For years, this is exactly how I took this verse, so I’m the first to admit that my filters were cloudy on this one.

So, what does the verse mean? I think it speaks for itself, really.

“Delight yourself in the Lord…”

What does it mean to make the Lord your delight? Doesn’t it mean to place Him at the center of your life; to meditate on Him day and night; to take real joy in knowing Him more and more each day?

Yes, of course it does.

So, if you and I were to make God the center of our lives, and take joy in His presence every single day, wouldn’t “the desires of [our] heart” be to experience even more of Him?

Yes, I believe it would be.

So, we might paraphrase Psalm 37:4 like this: “Make the Lord the desire of your heart and He will fulfill your desire for more of Himself.”

At least, that’s how I read it now.

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LOVE UNCONDITIONAL

It was one of those days which can only be described as a “perfect storm” of positive reinforcement.

One after another I received a continuous string of email messages from a variety of people who wanted to thank me for my writing, or to encourage me in my ministry, or to affirm something that I had done or said.

It was glorious.

As someone whose love language involves “Words of Affirmation”, it was like a tsunami of love coming to me in a series of warm, soothing waves.

Driving home that evening, I was glowing from the inside out. That’s when I started realizing how great it is to be loved.

Not only is it great to receive love from total strangers who appreciate my writing, it’s even more amazing to realize that I am even more loved by the Creator of this Universe, every single second of every single day.

“Thank you for loving me, “ I said. “Thank you God for your incredible, unending, unmerited love for me.”

That’s when I started to hear from the Holy Spirit. He questioned my mention of the “unmerited” aspect of His love for me.

What I began to experience next was both an endless wave of His Divine love for me, and a quiet whisper that I should never allow anything to distract me from an awareness of His incredible love for me. Not even the idea that I don’t deserve it.

What followed was sort of a little movie in my inner thoughts. I began to review the various verses in the Bible about God’s fantastic and extravagant love for His people.

I remembered the verse that says God sings over me and quiets me with His love.

I remembered the verse where God says that His thoughts about me are more numerous than all the grains of sand on the planet.

I remembered the verse where God says that He loved the entire world so much that He was willing to step down from Glory, become one of us, humble Himself like a servant, and lay down and die – all because He would rather die than live without us.

I remembered the verse where God’s love is described as transcending knowledge, and that if we could just grasp how wide, and high, and long, and deep His love for us really is that we could be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

And guess what I realized next? I realized that none of those verses about God’s phenomenal love for me ever – not even once – cautioned me to remember that I was a worthless scum who didn’t deserve that kind of love.

Not once.

Let that sink in for a moment.

God loves you. He wants you to know it. He wants you to bask in it. He wants you to enjoy it.  He wants you to trust in that love. He wants you to experience it. He wants you to meditate on it. He wants you to take a deep dive into the depths of His love and to let it saturate your being, infiltrate your soul, permeate your heart and transform your identity from the inside out.

Let go of the idea that you don’t deserve it. Let it disappear in your rearview mirror.

Concentrate on His ridonkulus, splendiferous, ginormous love for you.

And then, get ready for the best part of all which comes when your tiny soul can no longer contain the vast ocean of His love and it all comes gushing out of you like a massive tidal wave of unbelievably unlimited agape.

Yes, His love for you is better than you can imagine. It’s over the top, beyond the moon, as vast as the heavens, and totally, gloriously, fantastically eternal and overwhelming. But it’s not about you. It’s about Him, the God who is love incarnate, getting into you and everyone around you.

We are empty, dry sponges that are desperate for one thing – the unending love of our Maker.

Once you realize this you start to see how “caring for the poor” isn’t the point. But loving people who happen to have less than you is.

You realize that “turning the other cheek” isn’t the point. But loving the person in front of you who has hate in his eyes is.

You realize that “social justice” isn’t the point. But loving the community around you enough to get involved in their suffering is.

You realize that “non-violence” isn’t the point. But loving everyone – even your enemies who want to kill you – is.

Being loved is awesome. There’s nothing like it in the world. Once you know how completely you are loved by God, the next step is to make sure everyone else around you knows how much they are loved, too.

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The Love Chapter (Remix)

And now I will show you the most beautiful way.

If I build a church that's larger than a football stadium but I don't love people the way God does, I am nothing.

If I write books that sell millions of copies and made Oprah's favorites list, but don't love my enemies, then I am worth nothing.

If I have a Television show where I take money from the elderly and the weak-minded and twist the scriptures around to promise endless health and a faith without suffering, then I am not of Christ.

Love is not violent. It does not kill. It does not carry a weapon. Love does not shed blood, unless it is bleeding for the sake of others.

Love is not arrogant. It does not insult. It does not carry a sign full of hateful words. Love never causes others to doubt God's goodness and mercy.

Love always transforms, always serves, always gives, always kneels down to touch the outcast, the homeless, the orphan, and the sick. Love washes the feet of the proud and the broken alike.

Love does not withhold mercy from those who do not deserve it. Love freely rains down goodness and relief and hope upon the hopeless.

But where there are wars, they will cease.
Where there is violence, there will be peace.
Where there is hate, it will pass away.

For we know full well that our Lord Jesus Christ has commanded us not to kill, and we know
that He spoke to us of loving our enemies, and turning the other cheek, and walking the extra mile, and blessing those who curse us, and doing good to those who hate us, and laying down our lives for others, and loving our neighbor - even if that neighbor hates us with all of his heart.

When I was a non-disciple, I thought like one, and I acted like one. But when I became a follower of the Prince of Peace, I put away violent things.

Now, we see but a poor reflection of Christ in ourselves, and in the Church, but one day we will see Him in our own face, and in one another, more clearly.

And now, these three remain: Hate, Arrogance and Love. And the greatest of these remains to be seen.

Amen.


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11/16/13; 4:45 a.m.

LOVE STORY

People love to hear stories, especially true stories about those who find real love together. Maybe this is why my wife Wendy and I love meeting other couples and hearing the story of how they first met and fell in love.

These stories are almost always half told by each person in turn, with one person starting a thought from their perspective and the other person finishing that same scene in time from their point of view. Often the real fun is hearing what each person was thinking as they first met the other, about the misunderstandings that threatened to keep them apart, and about how, eventually, they both realized that this might be the person they wanted to spend the rest of their life with.

My wife and I have such a story. I saw her from a distance and thought she was gorgeous, but figured there was no real point in pursuing her. She barely noticed me sitting behind her on the bus ride to a college leadership conference, although she did lend me batteries for my Walkman.

Eventually I got up the nerve to ask her to join me to see a local play and when she showed up late, with her baby sister in tow, I stood up to leave in disgust. That was when the house lights came up for intermission and she saw me through the crowd. I stayed, we finished the play and that was it. Every date after that she continued to bring her little sister, and once even positioned herself so that she didn’t have to sit next to me during the film. I was pretty upset.

After that I officially gave up on her. All summer long I ignored my desires to call her and ask her out again, even though my friends urged me to keep trying. I was unmoved.

But after I joined the Christian Drama Team that she was leading we started to spend more time together, and I couldn’t help but start feeling close to her. One afternoon between classes she asked me to go with her to visit people at the Senior Home down the street. It was just her and I, for once, and I was glad to have some time alone with her. 

As we approached the building I ran forward and held open the door for her, like a gentleman, but she was gone. I turned around and saw her looking up into the face of an elderly woman in a wheel chair that I had flat out ignored on the sidewalk. In that moment, as I watched her open her heart to this woman I had ignored, I knew I had met someone more amazing than I could ever have imagined before. Her heart and genuine love for others astounded me. That was when I realized that God was up to something in my life and that maybe I should listen for further directions.

The next few months took even more twists and turns, with more steps backwards than forwards in our relationship, but I knew that I shouldn’t give up hope. I knew that she was worth the fight, and she was.

I’ll never forget the night that she and I both agreed that only God could save our relationship. Over the phone we both prayed together and laid everything on the altar and said, “God, if you want this to work you have to do it all. It’s practically dead already, so if you want this relationship to fly we need your help.” And after that night, as corny as it sounds, everything started to click for us.

I held her hand for the first time after a cold night playing Putt Putt golf, saying “Here, my hands are cold. Can you warm them up for me?”

I kissed her for the first time on her back porch, in the rain, but only after she asked me to, and even though I had already planned to kiss her anyway.

I sold my brand new 9mm Browning High Power pistol with Pachmeyer grips (yes, this was Texas) and bought her a diamond engagement ring. The price of the ring was exactly, to the penny, what I had sold the gun for. It was a sign.

Later that week I got down on my knees in the middle of the restaurant to ask her to marry me. When I looked up she was walking towards the exit. I called out to her, “Wendy!” and she turned around and saw me kneeling there by her empty chair. I’m so glad she turned around and took her seat again so that I could ask her to be my wife.

For those of us who are following Jesus, we also have a similar story to tell. We can recall what we thought of Jesus before we first met Him, and about what our first impressions of Him were, and about what events and circumstances threatened to keep us apart. We can all share the story about how we eventually discovered that Jesus was someone we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with, and about when we first knew that He was the One we couldn’t live without.

So, I’m curious. What’s your story? When did you first meet Jesus? How did you come to realize that you wanted to spend the rest of eternity with Him? How has your life changed since you made that decision to follow Him all of your days?

Have the two of you been through difficult times together? Did it strengthen your love for each other? What did it teach you about yourself? About Him?

Can you imagine what your life would have been like without Jesus? Can you fully appreciate how significantly better your life is now that you’ve surrendered your life to receive His life?

Tell us that story. Tell that story to your neighbors. Tell it to your co-workers. Tell it to anyone who asks you. But let them ask first, and try to let them see that you’re in love with God before you say it out loud.

You see, people love to hear stories, especially true stories about those who find real love together.

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What's Really Yours?

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. “ – (John 1:1-3)

Sometimes I forget that God owns everything, and that means everything I experience was created by Him, and comes into my life after first passing through His hands.

Since Jesus made everything, everything belongs to Him. Saturn is his. China is his. Every swordfish on earth is his. Every square inch of moon dust belongs to him, and the moon itself. Every panda bear. Every star in the Universe. Every square inch of everything. It all belongs to God. Absolutely nothing that you and I can see or conceive of exists apart from Christ, and since He made it, it’s His alone.

“What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?” – (1 Cor. 4:7)

When we forget that everything belongs to God, we can become selfish. We start to believe that the things that are in our care belong to us, as if we created them ourselves. We start to think that God only deserves 10 percent of our money, for example, when obviously He deserves all of it. We start to think that God deserves only one day each week for us to spend thinking about Him and talking to Him instead of realizing that every breath belongs to Him and that our entire lives depend upon Him.

“For in him (Jesus) all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together” – (Colossians 1:16-17)

Without Jesus there would be no planet, no solar system, no atmosphere, no water, no food to eat, no oxygen, no photosynthesis.

Jesus is more than our Savior. He is more than our Lord. He is the creator of the Universe. He deserves all we can give Him, and even if we do give everything we have to Him, all we will have done is to give back to Him the very things He owns already.

Do you know the one thing that Jesus wants most of all? It’s you. Your heart. Your time. Your love, freely given to Him. He wants that one part of yourself that you’ve been holding back from Him. You know what it is. He wants that most of all because He loves you and He knows that once you let go of that He can put something into your heart that is more glorious and wonderful than you could ever imagine. Something that you can really call your own – Himself.

“I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being,  so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” – (Ephesians 3:16-19)

How could you not love a God who would rather die than live without you? Who has already emptied Himself of everything in order to give you all of Himself? This is a creator who loves us until it hurts. Until it kills Him.  

Thank you, Jesus, that we are rich in all the things that matter – and rich in many other ways that do not.

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**

“All I see, all I’ve known, all I touch, all I own, first came through your hands like grains of golden sand."

Learning To Be Loved

My friend Thomas Nixon once said something that I will never forget. He said that his house church family came together to discover how to love God and how to love one another. I remember nodding as he said that, not realizing that he was about to add something so intuitive and yet so unexpected to my mind at the time. He went on to say that they also came together to learn how to be loved by God, and how to be loved by one another.

The simplicity of that statement stunned me a bit. Of course, I thought, if you’re in a room full of people who are committed to loving everyone else, you’ll have to accommodate them by allowing them to actually love you. And if you’re honestly trying to learn how to love God, you’ll have to actually begin by learning how to let God love you.

The questions that began to whisper through my heart as I pondered my friend’s words were relentless. “How can I receive love from others like this?”, “What’s holding me back from receiving God’s love in my own heart?”, and most profoundly, “How could I possibly have missed such a simple truth?”

That conversation was years ago now. I’m still trying to answer those questions in my heart. If anything, those whispers have crescendoed into roars like a waterfall in my ears. “How do I learn to be loved?”

I have to admit, this is something I struggle with. Yes, I know in my mind that Jesus loves me, and I have experienced the love of God in my life many times before, but I’m learning lately that I have yet to really learn how to fully receive God’s love the way He intends for me to.

Why is it hard for me to accept God’s amazing love? I think it's partly because I struggle with pride. One of the ways I try to manage my pride is to avoid anything that is about "me" or tends to exalt my ego in any way. Somehow the idea of embracing the notion that Jesus is totally in love with me feels like a threat to my meager humility. It’s almost as if receiving His love would fill me with pride somehow. I don't know how to fully explain it, but it’s there.

At the same time, I am also constantly aware that I do not deserve His love, so to fully embrace His outrageous love for me is like denying that I am wretched, sinful, and unlovable.

So, because of my love for myself, and my hatred of myself, I am kept from fully receiving the exquisite love of God. I am boxed in on both sides by selfish pride and by awareness of my own sin. How can I receive the awesome love of a Holy God when I am too in love with myself, or too ashamed of my own unworthiness to let Him love me?

Intellectually, of course, I know all the answers for this. If I were counseling someone else I would know exactly which verses to quote, what illustrations to use to counter these ideas, but in practice, in my own heart, these do not erase the reality of my struggle.

I’ve preached sermons on this topic, I’ve memorized verses on the love of God, I know in my mind that all of these thoughts and attitudes are foolish and unnecessary, but none of that changes the fact: A large portion of my heart is still untouched by the love of God.

If you’re in the same boat with me then we are the people that Paul the Apostle is praying for in Ephesians chapter 3 when he says:

“And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.” (v. 17-19)

What Paul says is that our ability to be “rooted and established in love” can only be accomplished if we receive “power” from God to do so. God’s power must be unleashed upon us to enable us to “know this love that surpasses knowledge”.

I love that Paul uses that phrase to describe the love of God - “love that surpasses knowledge” because what he’s emphasizing to us is that the love of God isn’t accessible via language, or teaching, or intelligence, or any other form of human knowledge. How could you possibly know something that surpasses knowledge? Even if you had all the knowledge in the Universe you would still not be capable of knowing this astounding love of God. Why? Because the love of God surpasses knowledge. It cannot be found in this way. It is too large for any human brain to grasp. Only the human heart can ever hope to receive it, and only then if it is apprehended by the impulse of God’s might power working in us.

My prayer for myself, and for you as well if you find yourself in this same place, is exactly what Paul says here. I pray that we might all have power to grasp how infinitely wide and eternally high and endlessly deep is the transformational love of Christ Jesus, our Lord.

True, there may be barriers in my own heart that I know must be broken down before I can finally receive His amazing love. But, it's good to know that Jesus has His sights set on destroying these barriers. Only He can do this work in my heart. I long for Him to crash through those two strongholds of mind and heart. I can't wait for that day to come.

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KNOCK, KNOCK

I wrote in my last blog about how I spent a few months seeking after God and finding only empty silence. Now I realize that this only fueled my hunger for more of Jesus. It confounded me and made me think even more about how much I needed Jesus to come to me.

Not only that, but this was actually in direct response to my prayer months earlier that Jesus was increase my hunger for more of Him. I asked Him to make me more hungry for hunger, and to make me thirsty for more thirst.  This, I see now, is exactly what He did.

During this time I also felt called to go and re-read the words of Jesus to His Churches in the book of John’s Revelation. Here I noticed something that applies both to me and to the Church as a whole.

Speaking to the church in Laodicea, Jesus says that they are lukewarm and because of this He is about to spit them out of His mouth. Most of us remember this passage because of the implications it has for any of us who begin to grow cold in our relationship with Jesus. Bringing it closer to home, it is a warning for all of us to take care of our love for Jesus. Our relationship is more important than anything else in our lives. Without Jesus we have no hope, no life, no power, no purpose, no vision. We have nothing without Jesus.
 

But look at what else Jesus says to this church:

“You say, ‘I am rich; I have acquired wealth and do not need a thing.’ But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.  I counsel you to buy from me gold refined in the fire, so you can become rich; and white clothes to wear, so you can cover your shameful nakedness; and salve to put on your eyes, so you can see.” (v. 17-18)

As a people, as churches, we can become very independent. We can reach a level of self-reliance that separates us from Jesus. We don’t need Jesus to teach the Bible. We don’t need Jesus to worship. We don’t need Jesus to plan our Christmas pageant. Of course, it would be nice to have him along, but if He didn’t show up we could still pull everything off. But, obviously, church – or life – without Jesus isn’t life at all. It’s an illusion. It’s empty. It’s dead.

What we need to do is to realize that we are actually desperately hopeless without Jesus. We need to have eyes to see how poor we really are. This means our power, our experience, our resources, our ability, our reputation, is worthless. It is not our strength, instead it is actually what we need to be rid of so that Jesus can clothe us in His own power and life and Spirit.

Notice the last part of this passage where Jesus says:

“Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.  Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with me.” (v. 19-20)

Jesus affirms His love for us, even in our arrogance and pride, His love for us is the same.  His love calls us to repentance. He stands outside His own church and asks kindly, humbly, to be allowed back inside. He even knocks. (Who knocks before they enter a church?) Jesus asks to be asked to re-enter His own home. If we do ask Him to come inside and if we make Him again the King we adore He will restore us to fellowship and commune with us as He did before. Like nothing ever happened. Then He says:

"To the one who is victorious, I will give the right to sit with me on my throne, just as I was victorious and sat down with my Father on his throne. Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.” – (v. 21- 22)

He’s already looking forward to that day when His church in Laodicea wakes up and invites Him to be their Lord again. He’s even willing to scoot over on His throne and make room for us to sit with Him on the throne that the Father gave to Him after enduring the cross of shame. He’s making room for us – His children – to sit next to Him for eternity.

What amazing love! What astounding grace! Our Lord Jesus, even in His rebuke is gracious, and forgiving, and optimistic about our response.

Don’t let Him down. Turn, seek Him, listen for His still small voice, and invite Him into His home again. It’s where He longs to be. It’s where you long for Him to return again.

Wait a minute. Did you hear a knock at the door?

MY FRIEND JESUS

I met him when I was nine years old in Eagle Pass, Texas. I was always curious about God and so when I finally found out His name was Jesus and that He loved me I couldn’t wait to trust Him.

At first I just loved singing about him and reading about him. I read through the Bible before I was twelve years old just to learn all I could about Jesus.

Sometimes I got so excited about sharing Him with others that I got into trouble and I had to learn to allow some people the choice not to trust Jesus the way I did.

I used to talk to Jesus every night before I went to bed as a young boy. He was my closest friend in the world because I was an only child and our family moved around a lot so Jesus was the most consistent person in my life.

When I became a teenager Jesus and I lost touch with each other a little. I suddenly found myself with a lot of friends that I wanted to impress and so I used to leave him at home. I even used to pretend that I didn’t know Jesus whenever other people were around.

When I was a junior in High School Jesus and I had a really big fight. I met this girl and I really thought that she was the love of my life. When that didn’t work out the way I hoped it would, I told Jesus to leave me alone and for a whole year I ignored Jesus. I didn’t talk to him. I didn’t ask him for help. I didn’t read about him. I tried to hurt Jesus because he didn’t give me what I wanted.

It was during that time that I think Jesus was closer to me than ever before. I didn’t know it at the time, but later on when I look back at that time in my life I can see that Jesus was silently protecting me from danger, helping me out of difficult situations and loving me in spite of my determination to give him the silent treatment.

Eventually, I forgave Jesus and I realized that I was the one who really needed to ask Jesus to forgive me for being such an idiot. He did. In fact, he acted as if nothing had changed between us. He just kept on being my friend. He just kept on loving me.

In college I started taking trips with Jesus and I spent more time listening to Him and learning how much bigger he was than I ever imagined before. I was so glad to find out that he still loved me, even after the way I had treated him in high school. Jesus was still my best friend and he continued to love me in spite of all the stupid things I did.

The more I got to know Jesus the more I felt the need to know him even more. I wanted to be with Jesus forever. I wanted Jesus to speak to me and I soon I learned to hear his voice.

I used to spend hours talking to Jesus about everything. He was my best friend. He always listened, and He always helped me figure out what to do in hard times. Over time I began to learn that the old song, “Jesus Loves Me This I Know” was really true, and not just because the Bible told me so, but because I was really experiencing the love of Jesus every single day of my life.

One day I figured out that Jesus wanted me to give him my whole life. He wanted all of me. Not just my left over time. Not just to be my helper when I needed something. Jesus wanted all of me, all of the time.

At first that scared me because I thought that Jesus might take away all the other things in my life that I thought I needed. But eventually I realized that Jesus loved me even more than I loved him. He only wanted what was best for me. I also began to realize that, deep in my heart, what I really wanted more than anything was to have all of Him too. So, it was a fair trade. I gave Jesus all of me – my weak, pathetic, empty self – and I got all of Jesus in exchange – His magnificent, amazing, fabulous, glorious, infinite majestic SELF.

Surprisingly, Jesus didn’t seem to mind that I had gotten the better end of that deal. I even tried to tell him about it but he didn’t seem to care. He was just thrilled to have all of me and to give all of himself to me.

Of course, over time I began to notice that I hadn’t really given all of myself to Jesus. I meant to. I thought I did. But sometimes Jesus would ask me for something and I’d pretend I didn’t hear Him, or I would just refuse to let him have it. Eventually, I usually end up giving in and letting him have whatever it is that he wants from me. One day I hope to really surrender everything to him because I'm starting to realize that, in order to have more of him, I need to give him more of myself.

One time Jesus went to visit my Dad when he had broken his neck in three places and it looked like he might be paralyzed for life. Jesus healed him and today my Dad is totally healed. Jesus did that.

Sometimes I can’t see the way and He shows me where to go. Sometimes I feel alone and he wraps his arms around me. Sometimes I need to help someone and I have no idea what to do or to say and Jesus steps in and he gives me the words, or he shows me what to do and it works out great.

Another time, my friend Mary Anne got brain cancer and we asked Jesus to heal her. She told us that, instead of healing her cancer, Jesus used the cancer to heal her family. Jesus brought her son, her daughter, her sisters and her brother back together after years of unforgiveness and she told me that she was glad that Jesus did that. Today Mary Anne is with Jesus and she’s much happier now than she ever was before.

Most recently, I got to share Jesus with my friend Robert Higgins. He was 77 years old, living by himself in this motel in Santa Ana, and he also had cancer. I got to see Jesus change his heart. I saw Jesus bring his son back to Robert. I saw Jesus shout his love for Robert from some very unexpected places and people.

Jesus and I both loved Robert very much, and I believe that Robert and Jesus are together right now and they’re waiting for us all to get home.

Even though I've been following Jesus for over 30 years now, I always find something new and amazing about Him. He's my best friend. He's the Creator of the Universe. And, for some reason, even though he knows everything about me, he still loves me like crazy.

-kg