Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Modern Church Translation - Matthew 28:19

Announcing a brand new "Modern Church Translation" of the Bible!

Finally the words of Jesus have been re-translated for our modern Christian lives!

Here's an example of how this new translation modifies the old, stuffy text into a new, more comfortable version we can all enjoy.

New Living Translation Version:
"19 Therefore, go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit." - Matthew 28:19


Modern Church Translation:
"19 Therefore, stay put in your churches and pray that people will walk through your doors. In this way your pastor can preach to them so that they will become disciples. Baptize the rare convert that walks through your door in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Choose a method and ritual for your baptisms. Ensure that you criticize those whose method differs from yours. You may even choose to question the salvation of those that were not baptized by your preferred method." - Matthew 28:19

*from a post over at "Untried" my friend Mark's blog
HERE

4 comments:

Adam R said...

I love this quote from Soren Kierkegaard which somehow seems appropriate here:

"The matter is quite simple. The Bible is very easy to understand. But we Christians are a bunch of scheming swindlers. We pretend to be unable to understand it because we know very well that the minute we understand we are obliged to act accordingly. Take any words in the New Testament and forget everything except pledging yourself to act accordingly. My God, you will say, if I do that my whole life will be ruined. Herein lies the real place of Christian scholarship. Christian scholarship is the Church’s prodigious invention to defend itself against the Bible, to ensure that we can continue to be good Christians without the Bible coming too close. Dreadful it is to fall into the hands of the living God. Yes, it is even dreadful to be alone with the New Testament."

crissy brooks said...

I'd love to see the whole Bible like this. As Adam r quoted- maybe it would ruin us. Please Lord!

Mark said...

keith - I am honored that you have enjoyed this post from my blog. When I first started down the path I am currently on I looked for blogs from others already there. The first two I found were yours and Jeff McQ's. I read nearly everything on both blogs before I ever started my own. You were both great encouragements to me during that time.

Mark said...

If you would allow me the indulgence of a little self-promotion I have decided to start a new blog with nothing but modern church translations. There are only two on there as of the time of this comment, but I will be adding more on a regular basis. Thanks again.