Hey, Look At Me!

One thing I’ve noticed lately is that there are some Christian bloggers out there who are desperate to be noticed and followed. They offer their opinions, Tweet their links, and argue their positions mainly because they have an insecurity. They are obsessed with being seen as experts. Their egos are fed on the positive comments and the number of shares and quotes they get on every post. Essentially, this boils down to nothing more than ego-driven, narcissistic self-love and it makes me sick.

As I write this I have to be honest. There’s one person in particular that I’m thinking of who is probably the most guilty of this kind of self-promotion. Now, I don’t usually name names here, but in this case I think we all need to know who this person is. Why? So we can pray for him, of course. This guy needs our prayers and he needs to be held accountable. Besides, we can’t really pray for him if we don’t know what his weaknesses and struggles are, can we?

Furthermore, I think what bothers me most about this Christian brother is that he often talks about the need for humility, and even about how there should be no hierarchy in the Church, but then his actions betray the fact that, in his heart, he does hope to be held in higher esteem than the rest of us. We really should not tolerate this level of hypocrisy. That’s why it’s so important that we call this person out publicly and pray for him to repent of this selfishness.

So, of course, I’m talking about Keith Giles. I know this might come as a shock to you, but then again, maybe not. I’ve known this guy longer than almost anyone else and I can say without any reservation that he needs your prayers.

Seriously.

I wrote the first part of this article a few months ago and sat on it. A few days ago someone insulted me and ripped my heart to the core. It was a brother, a friend and someone I love and respect. The attack was personal and painful and it came out of nowhere. I was angry, and very hurt.

That night I lay on my bed and made my complaint to God, feeling very much the victim and quite justified in my feelings of injustice. But then the Holy Spirit whispered to me: "Maybe he's right?"

I waited. I considered this possibility. What if those words hurt me so deeply because they were actually true? Then I remembered this passage from the book "Let Go" by Fenelon:

"If we have inner resentment at being corrected, that just shows how deeply correction is needed. In fact, the sting of correction wouldn't be felt at all if the old self were dead. So, the more correction hurts, the more we see how necessary it is."

And:

"Oh, what wonderful grace will descend upon you if you will accept like a little child all the corrections and reproofs which God uses to humble you and bring you into submission."

So, there it is.

And then, this afternoon, I found this old draft of a blog that I had written a few months ago and I realized that the Lord had been speaking to me about this for a long time now.

So, go ahead. Please pray for me. I need to constantly lay myself down on the cross and ask the Lord to crucify this flesh. My heart is crushed, both from my friend and from the Lord. But I know the Lord's desire is to restore me and to apply a generous layer of mercy and grace to balance out this merciless wound from the blade of Truth.

Either way, my flesh needs to die and Christ needs to live in me more and more.

Conversatio Morem! (Death to my status quo!)

-kg