Wednesday, February 06, 2013

NOW HIRING: NEW PASTORS



Our house church is currently interviewing potential new candidates for assistant pastor. Here’s what we’re looking for:

Duties:

Responsible for loving and serving everyone else in the Body. Applicants should be willing to listen more than they talk. In fact, talking is almost completely unnecessary. Please observe our strict “no preaching” policy. Teaching is nice, but we ask that you do your best to make it conversational and please leave plenty of room for disagreements, questions, and the occasional rebuttal.

Must be willing to love people, regardless of how messed up they appear to be. No preferred parking spaces are available. First come, first served only.

Must also be willing to submit to our Senior Pastor. He is never wrong and should never be questioned or challenged in any way, at any time. He’s the Son of God, after all, so that shouldn’t be too difficult if you love Him like we do, and if also you’ve made a decision to follow Him the rest of your life.

Must support the Senior Pastor in the accomplishment of the church’s mission by NOT engaging in decision-making, advance planning or overall direction of other church members.

Must ensure the operational readiness of the church by constantly refraining from any sort of leadership or oversight of the Church and shall not in any way interfere with the practice of the “one-anothers” as clearly outlined in the New Testament scriptures.

Must constantly avoid creating any sort of key objectives, tactics; or an establishment of long-term growth goals.

Must never speak of any sort of church building program, including capital fund raising campaigns, master planning, design and architecture, contractor selection, or construction of a physical building.

Compensation:

Like everyone else on our “pastoral team,” applicant will agree that they “would rather die” than to receive money for preaching the Gospel or for teaching our brothers and sisters in Christ, whom we love. (1 Cor. 9:14-16)

This means that all our pastors are given an equal share of whatever food is available at every potluck gathering (either breakfast on Sunday mornings or dinner on Thursday evenings). Prayers are offered continually and double honor is extended at all times.

Like Peter wrote so eloquently: “Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve.” (1 Peter 5:2)

 
Education and Experience

This position requires no experience as a senior leader in a corporate business environment or as a pastor. Possession of a Bachelor’s Degree in Business, Technology, or other related field is nice, but not required, or particularly desired. Master’s work in Biblical studies will not be held against you. The successful individual must have a proven track record of putting others first and not promoting himself or herself above the needs of others.

Interested parties can submit their resumes by email or in person.

-kg

9 comments:

Heidi said...

I see where you're going with this, but do you really think it essential never to question the "Senior Pastor"?

Keith Giles said...

It's ok to question Jesus, but you should do it in person.

Chris Hall said...

Love it!

There's a few potential applicants I know that would struggle at the first requirement of listening more than they talk.

No requirement to be nifty in making tents though?

Heidi said...

I'm not following. Sorry.

Keith Giles said...

This is a joke. The senior pastor is Jesus. Maybe you have to be an organic church practitioner to get it?

damancd said...

Well it was going well until the beginning ... no frocks, no special attention, no preaching ... NO PREACHING!!! I thought that was all a pastor ever did and spend the best part of a week preparing for that. I mean, come on.

Great job description, I hope you get lots of people looking and saying it's not for them, and a few seeing it and dedicating their life to it. Even when they question the Senior Pastor in person.

Heidi said...

Hi Keith. I got the joke. :)
My question, which I obviously didn't articulate very well in the first place, is: why do you think it is important never to question God? This is how I read your original post above, until you replied with your first comment which seemed to say the opposite.
I'm going to drop it now, if it's any consolation. If I could chat with you face to face I'm sure there would be less misunderstanding. [sigh]

Gottardo said...

@Heidi: I understand "questioning" as asking for a further authority behind somebody's directives or actions. Consciously or not, don't we all do this in our relationship with God? And the further authority is our own self. Getting to the point were we fully embrace the love and will of Yeshua is the goal of our life trip. Questioning stops when we've become aware of the reality. Sometimes it resumes ... it's a long way to go.

AJ said...

I love the reference to the passage in 1Cor 9:15- About preaching free of charge.
I have heard sermons on verse 14, justifying why we need to give money to the church to support ministries and ministers. I have also heard sermons on Verse 16, justifying why we need to preach the gospel, and how some just have that calling, and if they are silent... how bad it is to fall down on that calling.
I have never head a sermon on Verse 15 about how good it is to preach free of charge, and how beneficial it is to rob some people of the ability of saying "I'm paying you for this".
Great article