I AM SICK

I recently found a scrap of paper at the bottom of my book bag. It’s in my hand-writing, but I think it may have been something I copied down a while back after listening to a friend of mine, Jared Smith, share something similar. So, either I wrote this and forgot about it, or I copied it down from Jared. Either way, it’s worth sharing with all of you.

I am sick.
Jesus is here (always).
I need the constant, ever-present life of Jesus in me, always.
Jesus will be messing stuff up now.
He is not sitting quietly in the corner, waiting for his turn to speak.
He is the Lord. He is active, moving, dynamic, radical.

My home, my family, my life should be better because Jesus is in it.
My marriage, my work, my neighborhood, my heart.

Let Jesus in. (Behold, I stand at the door and knock)

Why is he on the outside trying to get back in? It doesn’t matter.
Let him in.

Confession: I am sick. I need to be healed.
I need to have my need for recognition surgically removed.
I need to have my need to be right removed.
I need my “expert tumor” cut out with a sharp knife.
Jesus is the only physician who can perform this operation.

I need to let Jesus kill the Pharisee in me.
I need help removing my mask.
I need help being authentically weak and vulnerable.
I need help un-compartmentalizing my life.

I need a thorn in my flesh to remind me of my weakness.
I need a river of living water to remind me of how much I need Jesus.
His love is better than life.
His life is better than anything else.