Thursday, September 03, 2009

ALL THE NOTHING I HAVE COME TO KNOW

God has been speaking to me loud and clear lately and teaching me so many new and wonderful things. The main thing He is teaching me is that I know nothing. In fact, the more He shows me, the more I am convinced that I am a spiritual midget among giants of the faith.

So, as a teacher and a writer, how do I share with you all that God is teaching me? How do I illustrate all the nothing that I have come to know? How can I express to you how little I know about God's Spirit and how He speaks to us? How can I write about how little I've learned about what God is doing in my life right now? Or how I know nothing about where He's taking our Church? Or how I have no idea what He's doing in my own family? Or in my own life?

I don't know.

But, apparently, the amount of what I do not know is great. This leaves room for God to do more than I expect, more than I imagine, more than I can anticipate. If I knew what God was up to, I'd be able to predict His movements or move in concert with His steps. Instead, I'm fumbling around on the dance floor, flubbing my steps, ruining the choreography, and publicly demonstrating my ungraceful qualities.

I'm used to dispensing the truth. I've created the illusion that I have all the answers. Yet, the more I know, the more I know that I really know nothing at all.

Here's what I do know (and it's not much so don't worry about writing any of this down):
God is at work in His Church today.
He loves everyone.
He is purifying His Bride.
He is coming soon.
We are His Body.
He wants us to submit to Him as our Lord, our Leader, our Husband.
I know nothing.

Many of you have known the true depths of my foolishness for a long time now. Thank you for loving me in spite of this. Others have done your best to loudly proclaim my lack of wisdom and I'm sorry that I wasn't able to hear you. You were right. I am hardly qualified to speak with any authority whatsoever. Only the Word of God has authority. Only God's Spirit is True. Only Jesus is Lord. I am nothing.

It's a funny thing. I used to believe that, once I knew everything I would be happy. Yet now that I have come to accept that I really know nothing at all, I am more happy than I've ever been. I mean, I'm a dope. A complete numbskull. A cotton-headed ninny-muggins. And you know what? I'm so thrilled to confess my stupidity to all of you. The pressure is off. I no longer need to perform or deliver or meet anyone's expectations. Why? Because we all know that I don't know anything, really. And now we're all on level ground.

I'm a child of the King. He loves me. He knows I don't know anything and He still loves me. He's put up with me so far, and many of you have as well. I'm so blessed. I'm so loved. Praise God for His wonderful revelation! I know nothing.

I am no different from you. I struggle with my pride. I fail miserably on a daily basis. I disappoint myself often and I am far from the model servant of God. Honestly, I truly need a constant conversion. I need to die daily to myself. I need to put to death my flesh and submit myself to God for wisdom and hope and life and truth and grace and, most of all, for love.

I'm not a super christian. I'm not a prophet. I'm not a spiritual giant or a minor christian celebrity. I'm not even internet famous. I'm just Keith. I'm a guy sitting at a laptop in the dark typing stuff that people read and once in a blue moon I fart out something that God uses to bless someone. Glory to God.

If and when I come to the end of my life, I can only hope that God can find something, anything, that honestly and truly brings Glory to Him and helps to advance the Gospel of the Kingdom. By the Grace of God, I hope and pray this is true.

So, I say all of this to admit to the world that I am nothing. I am empty. I am a fool. If you must place your hope in something, or if you must place your trust in someone, let it be Christ, Jesus. Make Him your everything. Read His Words. Put them into practice. Love others. Love God. Do Justice. Love Mercy. Walk in humility.

But, don't take my word for it. I know nothing.

2 comments:

Tracey said...

Well, Brother, it is a relief to find someone on the same level! Did you know you are disarming, unassuming, wise, witty, and laugh-out-loud funny?! May God richly bless you with all spiritual blessings in His heavenly kingdom! Less of me, more of Thee, O LORD!

featuring chas pike said...

"cotton headed ninny-muggins"?? pretty harsh words.