CONCENTRIC CIRCLES OF LOVE

We talk a lot in the house church movement about "Being the Church" versus "Going to Church" but what does that really mean? What does it look like in practical terms to "be the Church"?

I can only speak for myself and share what we've experienced in our own house church family regardign this idea. A few years ago, when my wife Wendy and I started a house church out of our home called "The Mission," part of our rationale for that name was to serve as a reminder to all of us that, as followers of Christ, we are all missionaries. This means that we all have a mission field. Yours may look different from mine, but being a follower of Christ means living out our own individual mission or calling.

For some of us our mission field might be our Fifth grade class that we teach every day. For others it may be the homeless in our community. For still another it might be a handful of young people we're taking the time to tutor after school, or it may simply be our neighbors across street.

The important thing is to realize that we have a mission and to help encourage one another to live out our calling to have an impact for Christ in that mission field.

One illustration that we've developed to help us understand how to live this out in our daily lives is something called "Concentric Circles of Love". Here's how it works:

Jesus told us that the greatest commandment is to love God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. He said the second greatest command "is like the first" - to love our neighbor as ourselves.

What did he mean, "the second (loving others) is like the first?" I think the New Testament is pretty clear that how we love God is reflected in the way we treat others.

"If anyone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. And this commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother."(1 John 4:20-21)

"And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’" - Matt 25:40

So, the way we love others reflects our love for God, and vice versa. This is where the concentric circles come in.

If we ever really hope to obey Jesus in this area of loving God and loving others we have to start with loving God. Why? Because the love we need to share with others isn't our own brand of love. It's the "agape" love of God that isn't selfish or arrogant. That kind of love isn't in us by nature. We can only receive it from God.

So, at the center of our circle we need to spend time learning how to love God. But that's only the beginning. The next circle is our immediate family; our spouse, our children, our parents, our brothers and sisters. If we can't love those people with the love of Christ we have no hope of loving total strangers.

The next circle is the Church family. I believe that Jesus commanded us to love one another because He knew how hard this would really be. Love isn't easy. Especially if we follow Jesus and love others sacrificially - putting their needs ahead of our own.

Next we need to practice loving our neighbors, our co-workers - the people God has put us in community with on a regular basis. This is our mission field. We need to cultivate the love we receive from God in the inner circle, share that love with our family and church, and allow it to drive us (or "compel us") to serve our co-workers and neighbors in Jesus' name.

On the outside circles we need to share the love of Christ with the poor, the homeless, the outcast and the lost. And, our ultimate goal is to bring those on the outer circles deeper inside the circle. This means we want the outcast and the stranger to be welcomed into the community of faith, into the warmth of our homes, and into the love of Christ.

Beyond learning how to love God and love others we also need to practice receiving the love of God and receiving love from others. Love is not a one way street.

I think this can be one of the most challenging aspects of "being church" together. Washing the feet of another person is always easier than being the one who is having their feet washed. It involves humility and transparency.

Keep in mind that all of us should happen holistically. It's not a "step one, step two" process. In other words, if we wait until we get really good at the first or the second circle, we'll never move on to the other circles.

The truth is, we're all constantly learning how to love God and love others in our lives at the same time. The important thing is not to neglect one over the other, and to always remember that everything flows from that center circle who is our Lord, Jesus Christ.

This illustration is only part of what it means to "Be the Church" but it's a great place to start.

-kg

THE MINISTRY OF ROBERT HIGGINS TO ME

Just the other day, Robert asked if he was a burden to me or if I was getting tired of doing stuff to help him. Of course, I said it was no trouble at all and that I was happy to serve him. I reminded him that I loved him and that God loved him, too.

After I prayed for Robert, I went home to eat dinner with my family.

But on the way home I thought about this a little more. In the beginning, my times with Robert were a little challenging and frustrating to me. Back when he was still living in the motel he and I would often grind gears over certain issues. Usually, I was the one who made Robert angry because I was doing things for him that he hadn't asked me to do. Eventually, I learned that, unless Robert had specifically asked me to do something, I should not do it. In time, Robert had trained me to listen to him intently and only do exactly what he asked me to do. Otherwise, I allowed him to do as much for himself as he possibly could.

Lately, Robert has been unable to do very much for himself at all. Sitting up in bed is a struggle for him. He will not allow me to pull him up by his hand because the day he needs my help - or anyone else's - to do something as simple as sit up in bed, he knows that the end is near. I understand that he also wants to do as much for himself as he can - for as long as he can - before the cancer takes that away from him.

What I do for Robert is still not very much, in my opinion. Yet, in his mind, I'm already doing too much. It was after I had pushed him in his wheelchair from outside and I helped him take off his shoes and placed them in front of his chair that he asked me if I was getting tired of helping him. Of course, he stood up on his own, and he walked to his bed on his own, and he laid down by himself. All I did during all of this was to watch him, and to stand ready to steady him should he begin to fall backwards.

The truth is that it is actually getting easier for me to serve Robert lately. I think this is partly because, in the beginning, I was too wrapped up in trying to be his pastor. I was trying hard to change Robert's attitude on my own. I was feeling frustrated that he was stubborn and heard-headed. Of course, God used this frustration to show me how much Robert and I were alike. As I began to see myself in him, I found more patience with him.

Over time I've been learning how to be his friend instead of trying to change him. I've also begun to develop a new perspective on what God is doing in Robert's life, and in my life through Robert.

Now I can't wait to talk to Robert about all of this. I want him to understand what Jesus is doing in my heart as I spend time with him, and I want to thank Robert for being part of God's working in my heart to humble me and change me.

I think that's one of the unexpected miracles of serving others. We start out believing that we have the answers and all the resources they lack, but in truth we end up being blessed even more than those we hope to serve.

It's amazing for me to realize that, after all this time, the real ministry taking place might actually be from Robert to me. Or, at least, that both of us are being changed through this process of serving and being served.

What a wonderful mystery of life in the Kingdom.

Peace,
kg

RECEIVERS WANTED

A few months ago I had a few friends over to my house to talk about poverty in Orange County, and to learn more about how God has called us to love the poor and serve others. One of my friends, Tommy Nixon, was with us that day. He and his family have become incarnational missionaries to a community in Fullerton. As Tommy began to share how he and his family were walking out their faith in their community he said something that helped me grasp more of life in the Kingom.

Tommy talked about how his home-based church had identified four key values which they practiced daily. The first two were familiar, but the second two were what intrigued me. These values, which drive their daily practice of faith together, involve examining every situation, and their own lives, to ask, "How can I use this experience to love God, and to love others?"

What Tommy said next has lingered in my mind every since. He said that he and his church family have also started to look at every situation to find ways that they can receive love from God and to receive love from others.

I think, maybe, this second statement captured my imagine because I'm not always sure how to receive love from others.

Learning to Be Loved
One Sunday morning our house church family had a similar conversation. We had been on a very long journey to explore "concentric circles of love" in our Body. Our hope was to identify our need start obeying the command of Jesus to love by beginning close to home. We start with our own family, then outward to our friends, then to our neighbors, then to our co-workers, and then finally outward to the community and the stranger in need.

So, on this particular morning we found ourselves going around the room and asking each other, "How can I show you that I love you?"

Most of us had a hard time answering that question. Others flat out refused to discuss the subject at all. It was a sensitive topic for some of us, and it touched on a nerve that made it clear that we're not very comfortable allowing people to love us deeply.

Over time I've become convinced that Trust is one of the most essential elements in our relationship with God. To "believe in" Jesus is to trust in Him. Faith is about taking your entire life and pushing all of your chips into the middle - to go all in so to speak - and to trust God with everything.

But what can we do if, at a basic level, many of us - myself included - have a hard time trusting our hearts to others? How can we love others as we love ourselves if, deep inside, we really don't love ourselves very much at all?

Maybe this fear we have of being loved is connected to our struggle with trusting God too? At the core, we had to admit that our "truster" was broken - or at least in need of an overhaul.

I think sometimes this concept of completing the circle is what holds me back. I tend to focus so much on loving God and loving others that I forget I need to soak up some of His love in order to splash it around on the people we're serving. If my sponge is dry, how can I refresh someone else?

So, we're still on this journey to discover how to love in these concentric circles. I know that I am only just beginning to learn how to allow God to love me, and to allow others to love me, as I follow Jesus daily.

-kg