The other night I couldn't sleep so I went into our den to pray. It was around 3am.
As I sat there talking to God, I had to admit that lately I am more of a spy than I am an ambassador for Christ. I am a chameleon who changes depending on who is in the room rather than being exactly who I am every single day, no matter the situation.
This isn't a new revelation for me. I've had it before. In fact, I wrote a song about it called "Faded Chameleons" that appeared on the Elysian Skies Cd "Exquisite Whisper".
Here are the lyrics:
Faded Chameleons
This is the flesh that makes your spirit weep
I took the blame when it wasn't mine to keep
The one you created is falling apart
The one that you love just keeps breaking your heart
The shadow will never return to the flame
And I am forever reminded of shame
Like faded chamelons tired of change
Resigned to conform to the color of gray
Chorus:
With pencil and paper and wire and string
All of us tangled and dying to breathe
Coffee and silence and letters from home
I know I don't have the strength to be alone
Bridge:
One day to suffer my final disgrace
One day to enter and rise from the grave
One day to melt in your Holy embrace
I was the servant who was not enslaved
**
So, after being reminded of this truth, and this song, the other night I went back to sleep and the next day at work I get a call from my friend John Wahrmund, the guy who wrote the music for the Elysian Skies album.
When he told me that he had been re-working the music on that exact song lately, I couldn't believe it. Talk about being on the same wavelength.
John and I never really thought the overly upbeat music on the original version of the song quite fit the darker, more introspective tone of the lyrics. So, it appears that John has nearly finished re-working the music for a new version of the song.
He played it for me, over the phone yesterday. I listened and I knew it was God singing to me through the static.
As I was remembering those lyrics that night, God was helping my friend John to write new music to those familiar words. The music changes but the words remain the same.
I'm ready for the death of my own status quo. I'm tired of being a chameleon. I'm ready to have the reptilian skin peeled off my frame once and for all.
-kg
