TO LOVE OR JUDGE?

A friend recently engaged me in an online discussion about what it means to judge others, and specifically how we as Christians should respond to the controversy surrounding same-sex marriage. He especially wanted to know how we could possibly evangelize people if we don’t point out their sin first.

Here’s my response to my friend, with a few additional thoughts thrown in for good measure.

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What do you think Jesus means by saying we should love others and not judge them? Do you think it's possible to condemn people with the truth rather than love them and point them to the Truth?

I try to think of how I came to know Jesus. Your experience might be different, but I know that as a 9 year old boy I was mainly overwhelmed with my need for God. I couldn't have told you the first thing about sin or repentance or any of that. I just knew I needed Jesus desperately.

A friend of mine once told me that before he came to Jesus he already knew he was a sinner. No one needed to point that out to him. He got that. What he didn't know was what to do about it.

So, that's why I think our evangelism should be more about loving people first (and that can only be done in relationship), sharing our own testimony (we're sinners who are desperate for Jesus and actively learning to know and to love the God who created the Universe - again, relationship), and pointing them to Jesus so they can know Him.

I think God will convict people of their sins just fine without us - because that's what He said He would do – and He specifically told us that it is not our place to convict people of their sins.

If we love people we make room for the grace of God to touch their hearts. (The kindness of God leads to repentance). But if we judge people, our condemnation becomes a barrier to those people and they cannot see the love of Jesus in us...and where else are they supposed to see it?

As I already said, I don't think we need to point out people's sins. I think the Holy Spirit will do that if we will introduce them to Jesus. Another example I can share is a couple we met at the motel about 5 years ago. We continued to serve them and love them in practical ways as they had need. They eventually started joining us in our house church, and then we started reading through the Gospel of John with them. Suddenly they both realized that they were sinners and that they needed to make some changes in their life. That was the Holy Spirit, not us, and they are continuing to read the Word of God and to allow Him to change their hearts. We never once had to say anything to them about their sin.

If we want to talk about sinfulness we have to start with our own. We must freely admit that we are sinners in need of Christ.  Our message can't be, "You're a filthy sinner and you need Jesus" it should be, "I'm a filthy sinner and I need Jesus" and our invitation should be to follow Jesus daily, not to escape hell. If the emphasis is placed where Jesus put it - on following Him daily and surrendering our will to His - then the rest will follow (i.e. repentance, sanctification, justification, salvation, etc.).

We don't know who is or isn't saved, and acting as a judge isn't our job.

I'm not sure I see a correlation between voting and judging others really. But, I will address the question of how we speak to same-sex marriage.

In Luke, chapter 6, Jesus contrasts Love and Judgment as two opposite actions. We can't do one if we're busy doing the other. If our job - our mandate - from Jesus is to love like God does, then we can’t waste our time judging the hearts of others. Simply put, we can't love and judge at the same time.

In Romans 2:1, Paul says that when we judge others we're actually passing judgment on ourselves. James chapter 4 tells us that when we judge others we're putting ourselves in God’s place.

Paul even draws a distinction between correcting sinful behavior of those within the Church (1 Cor 5:12) with the right to judge those outside the church.

So, according to the New Testament, followers of Jesus have no business trying to condemn the morality of the culture at large. Paul never did it. Peter never did it. Jesus never did it.

Why do we feel the responsibility to change our culture to behave the way we want them to? It doesn't make any sense – especially if our primary way of affecting change is supposed to be preaching the Gospel and making disciples of all nations. We can only teach people to obey all that Jesus commanded if they are willing disciples. But if they're not disciples of Jesus, why do we think that we can change their hearts or influence their behavior with a law or a policy? It's foolish, and it's not the Kingdom.

We should be more concerned that Kingdom people actually live out the Gospel in their daily lives. That’s actually what Paul’s main point about judging those within the Body is all about in 1 Corinthians 5. We’re expected to keep our own people on the straight and narrow, not those outside the Church. God will judge them without our help.

If we major on following Jesus ourselves, and teaching others within the Church to do the same, then we can offer the culture an alternative lifestyle that is direct contrast to the sinful ways of men.

Yes, I understand that Jesus told the woman caught in adultery to "go and sin no more" but then again, Jesus was the only person left standing who didn't have any sins to confess. The whole point of that passage is that those men who brought the woman to Jesus were in no position to judge her. That's why they dropped their stones and walked away. They understood that they were also sinners. Just like you and me.

At least, that's how I see it.

-kg

LOVE THE SINNER?

"Among the plastic saints of our times, Jesus has to do all the dying, and all we want to hear is another sermon about his dying." - AW Tozer

Just before Good Friday I posted the above quote on Twitter and Facebook. One of my friends from high school wasn't sure what the quote meant, so I tried to explain the quote to her. As we began to dialog back and forth, an interesting thread began to develop. 

I explained to her that this quote is meant to be a commentary on how Christians here in America tend to forget that Jesus said "If anyone would come after me, he must first die to himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me." (Luke 9:23). Today, Christians just want to hear stories about Jesus' death and His cross, but want nothing to do with talk of their own dying to self or taking up their own cross to follow Jesus into selfless love for others.

I talked about how Jesus set us an example to love others and that loving others as Jesus expects involves being inconvenienced for the sake of others.

My friend then made a comment about the over used phrase that Christians throw around that says, "Love the sinner. Hate the sin."

In response I said, "If we did more actual loving of people, this phrase wouldn't be such a problem." And I think this is true. Unfortunately, what we see is people who call themselves followers of Jesus doing very little in the way of "Loving Sinners" and far too much in the way of "Hating the Sin" (and therefore the sinner, too).

Until we are marked by our love and known as great lovers of people, it will never matter what we say with our mouths or what our bumper stickers say. 

In other words, "Don't tell me Jesus loves me, SHOW me the love of Jesus."

My friend, who does not identify herself as a Christian, said that this sounded great, but that, in her opinion it seemed like that was ok for some Christians, but not for every Christian.

"Well," I told her, "the problem with this not being for every Christian is that Jesus never gave us any other options." We either follow Him, or we don't. Jesus invited people to follow him, and then he explained what that involved, which is total surrender.

“In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:33)

My friend responded by saying that if her Christian friends would spend as much time loving and serving others as they did trying to convert her, she would be a much happier person.

The funny thing about this is that Jesus never told his followers to convert anyone. He simply told us to love others, to be known for love, to love God, and to teach others to follow Him too. 

If people don't want to follow Jesus, we're not supposed to beat them up. We just continue to love them.

"Why don't more Christians do this?" my friend asked.

Why? Because once we start trying to actually love one another, or love our enemies, or love the poor we discover - almost immediately - that it is far from easy. It's actually impossible. Why? Because love like this involves sacrifice. It means laying down my desires and wants in favor of meeting another person's needs. This is what "taking up my cross" is all about. My cross is the instrument of death to self so that the life of Christ can live in me - and love through me. That's the only way it works.

The bottom line is, character and actions speak louder than words. Yes, Jesus is about so much more than getting us to love others and demonstrate compassion. This is part of it, certainly, but He's mainly about wanting us to know Him, and sometimes this is more easily accomplished in our hearts when we obey Him in acts of compassion. 

God says this over and over again throughout the Bible: 

"He defended the cause of the poor and the needy (God says), is that not what it means to know me?" (Jeremiah 22:16) 

Here, "Knowing God" is related to showing kindness to the poor. Elsewhere it says: 

"If anyone has material possessions, and sees a brother or sister in need and does nothing, how can the love of God be in him?" (1 John 3:17) 

So, the sharing of possessions is related to sharing the love of God within us? Wow.

Again, the Bible affirms that no human being of flesh and blood is our enemy. We are called to love people, no matter what they believe or how they behave towards us. Our only enemy is spiritual and our only weapons are prayer and trusting in God.

Hopefully the next few decades we'll see more and more Christians focus on the "Loving the Sinner" part than on "Hating the Sin." If so, maybe there's hope for the Gospel to penetrate even the hardest hearts - maybe even our own?

-kg