After our recent "Coffee, Tea and Jesus" gathering, the woman whose home we were meeting in (a total stranger before that evening) asked if she could pray over Wendy and I. Of course, we said, "Yes."
As she prayed for us, it was clear that she had several specific words of encouragment for both Wendy and myself. One thing she shared was that God looked at me and was very pleased. But honestly, as she prayed these things I sat there in disbelief.
I did not accept this in my heart because when I think about what God must feel when He looks at me all I come up with is "disappointment". All I can see is how much I've blown it and how far I've missed the mark.
Still, the word she gave us was very beautiful and touching. We thanked her for her blessing, but deep down I wasn't buying it.
Later that night I prayed and asked the Lord, "If what she said was really what you think of me and how you feel about me, I need you to confirm it through some other witness."
On Sunday evening, my oldest son was sitting at our computer working on his homework. I felt an urge to surprise him with a blessing, so I took my brand new noise-cancelling headphones and placed them over his head as he worked. Then I set my iPod to one of his favorite songs and started to play it. He looked up at me, smiled, and nodded his head to the music.
As I left the room, I distinctly heard the Lord whisper to me, "That's how I feel about you, my son. I just love you. I love blessing you. I love you because you are made in my image, not because of what you've done, or what you fail to do. I just love you, Keith."
I couldn't help crying tears of joy as these words washed over me.
Suddenly, I remembered the week that my son was first born. He slept between Wendy and I for a few weeks and one morning I woke up before either of them. My son was asleep between us and I was overwhelmed with love for him. Why? I wondered. He hasn't spoken a word. He hasn't done anything for me. He couldn't if he wanted to. But I loved him so much. I would die for him right now. I would do anything to protect him, to bless him, to show him my love.
In that moment, God spoke to me and said, "That's how much I love you, my son."
The memory of that word, combined with this fresh reminder of His enduring love was just so beautiful to me. All I could do was say, "Thank you, Lord."
He loves me. Now I believe it.
-kg
1 comment:
Keith - this is absolutely brilliant. Just amazing to read such truths about the Father's love for us. I applaud this. It is such a good piece. I am certainly sharing this with others who should likewise be blessed with how deep the Father's love is for us.
Let me also say I can really empathise with the feelings and thoughts you shared about God being disappointed. I often struggle with that feeling and live under other descriptions of God, other than Him as Love. To be reminded that His love is not based on my actions in this piece did me the world of good today - thank you!
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