CRY UNCLE!

Sorry I've been lax in posting here lately.

MOMENTUM 06 just wrapped late last night and in a few hours I'll hop on a borrowed RV with 7 others and head to Arizona for a six hour drive to launch our ROADSHOW with Mike Pilavachi.

Ugh.

I am so tired of this.

I miss my family. I miss "normal" (whatever that is).

Last night I realized that I have been enduring hardship for exactly a year (starting with last year's MOMENTUM conference where Wendy and I had just had a miscarriage a few days previous).

I'm ready for a season of not getting hit with a hammer. I want to pause this dull suffering and step into a stretch of time where He makes me lay down in green pastures and restores my soul.

When I was a kid my Dad and I would wrestle on the floor together. If he ever got me pinned in a way that I couldn't move or escape he would ask me to "Say Uncle" (meaning I give up the fight).

I feel like God and I are on the floor. We've been wrestling for a year now. I've been pinned and I'm trying to get up.

I say "Uncle".

I know a lot of what makes my situation more raw is the fact that I'm physically and emotionally exhausted right now. I just want to find a quiet place somewhere, preferably a soft, clean, King-sized placed with cotton sheets and my favorite pillow, and sleep for a week or so.

When you get exhausted and you endure the feeling for several days you begin to loose control of your emotions. Everything is either unbearably sad, or ridiculously funny, or entirely too difficult to even begin to attempt.

I'll be away from my family for another 2 days now. On the road with co-workers and friends. But under the stress of having to perform again, which is something I have learned to loathe (I mean "Performance").

If I could call a time-out about now, I would. If I could hit the pause button and retire to the sofa, I would.

But.....I can't...and that sucks.