Do You Have Diotrephesia?

For those organic churches who prefer to focus on teaching and doctrine, the risk of spreading the disease of Diotrephesia is very high. What is Diotrephesia? It is a highly contagious virus which causes people to put themselves first.


John was the first to identify the symptoms of this disease when he called out the man for whom the disease is named:


“I wrote something to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first among them, does not acknowledge us. Therefore, if I come I will call attention to the deeds he is doing – the bringing of unjustified charges against us with evil words! And not being content with that, he not only refuses to welcome the brothers himself, but hinders the people who want to do so and throws them out of the church!” (3 John 1: 9-11)

The symptoms of Diotrephesia are:

*Always seeking to be first
*Strong desire to do all the talking
*Tendency to "Lord it over" others
*Fixation with literature, conferences, and titles that imply leadership is about being in control rather than being a slave.
*Tendency to assume the entire church fellowship is under his authority and control.
*Continually finds ways to exploit the talents of others for his own gain.
*Keeps others dependent upon himself for spiritual health

There is only one known cure for this disease. It’s simply to humble oneself before God and to put others needs ahead of your own.

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” (Philippians 2:3)

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LOVE OTHERS OR YOURSELF?

Often whenever we talk about Jesus’ command that we should love our neighbor as we love ourselves, the question arises, “But what if we don’t love ourselves? If we don’t love ourselves, how can we love others?”

It’s a valid question. I’ve even wondered about this myself from time to time. But the real problem is that we’re not understanding Jesus in the first place, which is why that question throws us off.

Jesus is not saying that we need to love ourselves as much as possible so that we’ll have enough love inside to share with others. In fact, Jesus isn’t telling us anything in this statement other than that we need to go and love people. That’s it.

His point about “as we love ourselves” simply means that everyone wants to eat. So, as much as you want to feed yourself, feed another person. Everyone likes to have clothes to wear. So, in the same way we should want those without clothes to have them too.

This isn’t about not wanting food as much as we should. It’s about simply wanting for others what we automatically want for ourselves. Self-image is not issue. Compassion for others is.

So, the problem is not that we need to love ourselves more and more in order to obey Jesus’ command to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. The problem is that we do not love our neighbors in the same way that we love our own comfort.

Now, the question we ask about our own lack of self-esteem is also worth addressing. I do understand that many of us struggle with this issue. At the core I think the problem here is that we actually think too much about ourselves rather than not enough.

See, if God has said that He loves you and that He has forgiven your sins and that He thinks of you 24/7, then who are you to say otherwise? Are you suggesting that you’re the one person in the Universe that even God cannot love or accept?

If the God of the Universe says that you’re worth dying for, then all you have to do is to believe it.  If you forget it, remind yourself of it. If you need to write yourself a note, do that.

Better yet, God says that if we will put the needs of others ahead of our own, then we ourselves will be healed and restored.

In Isaiah God says that instead of fasting to get what we want from Him, we should instead share our bread with the hungry and bring the homeless into our homes. When we do that, God says:

“Then shall your light break forth like the dawn, and your healing shall spring up speedily; your righteousness shall go before you; the glory of the Lord shall be your rear guard. Then you shall call, and the Lord will answer; you shall cry, and he will say, ‘Here I am.’” (Isaiah 58:6-9)

And:

“…If you pour yourself out for the hungry and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then shall your light rise in the darkness and your gloom be as the noonday. And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.”-  (Isaiah 58:10-12)

Either way, we’re commanded to love others as we love ourselves. To share our food and our shelter and our comfort with those who don’t have any. If we lack self-esteem, we can overcome that by spending more time with those who have less than we do, and God will lift our hearts as we share in their sorrows.

 

 

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BETTER THAN ME

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves" - Philipians 2:3

I'm nearly ok with treating others like they're as good as I am, but "better than I am"? I don't know if I'm ready for that.

I used to be in a band with three other guys. I was the lead vocalist and lyricist. Early on I told all of them they had permission to kick my butt if they ever felt like I was getting too prideful or self-absorbed. Luckily, they all were quite eager to provide a butt-kicking to my ego whenever necessary, and I managed to hold my pride in check for nearly five years.

Actually, my ego was still incredibly virile, but I shudder to imagine what it would have been like had my band-mates not engaged in actively serving me large helpings of humble pie.

"Humility is a virtue so beyond my understanding that should I achieve it, I would be proud of myself" - Benjamin Franklin

Someone once defined a prideful person as someone who spends too much time thinking about themselves and not enough time thinking about me. I can relate.

As an only child I've never had any trouble thinking of myself, or how everything in the Universe relates to me, or to who I am or what I want. Maybe I'm so fascinated by the discipline of humility because I realize that I am most lacking of this quality?

Andrew Murray once said, "Humility is not thinking less of myself, it is not thinking of myself at all."

If this is so, I've got a long way to go towards humility.

The verse in Philipians urges us to consider others as being better than ourselves. I struggle with treating people as being on par with myself, to be honest. The idea of putting the needs of others above my own is still not the same as behaving as if everyone around me is actually better than I am. I can put the needs of others above my own needs and still believe that the people I'm serving are less important or intelligent than I am. What I'm called to do in this verse is to consider others through the lens of humility, and to see them as better than I am, as more deserving of honor and service than I am.

Again, God's Word compels us to throw ourselves on His mercy and confess that we are not capable of such selflessness. It's just not in me to love others sacrificially, or to serve them joyfully, or to regard them as more important than I am. It's just not.

That's where we have to fall on our knees and pray that God would transform us into the sorts of people who are capable of loving and serving this way. I need to beg God for the kind of humility that actually believes that others around me are better than I am. This means believing that I am not as fabulous as I think I am. It means humbling myself before God, and even before other people, so that God can work in me, and through me. My heart needs to be softened, like clay, so that God's fingerprints can be seen in my life as He kneads and twists and forms my heart into the shape of His Son's.

One interesting thing about the Kingdom of God is that to enter it you must first humble yourself, (see Mark 10:14-15). That's because the Kingdom of God is quite simply that place where the absolute will of God is done. This means that God is King, and that you and I are not. So, if we will not humble ourselves and submit to God's will in every way, we cannot enter the Kingdom. Better said, when we refuse to humble ourselves, we have left the Kingdom of God and entered our own Kingdom, where our will is done.

Even Jesus began his ministry by humbling himself to become flesh, to be born to a simple, poor family, and even to lay down his life for us all. (see Phil 2:5-8) See, God went first. He humbled Himself before us. He submitted Himself to us first, and even when we were putting nails through His hands and feet, He continued to surrender to us in order to rescue us from our sins.

I believe that is why Jesus set the example of washing his disciples feet. He humbled himself before them, served them as a slave would serve his master, and then said, "I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you...Now that you know these things, you will blessed if you do them." (John 13:15;17)

God has a lot to say about pride, and as I go through my life I have seen the wisdom of these words played out numerous times. "God opposes the proud, but gives Grace to the humble." (Proverbs 3:34)

This is good news, because I need Grace in greater measure every single day. If humility is the only way to receive this Grace, I am more than willing to be humbled, and to remain there, so that the Grace of God may shower down on my life like warm summer rain.

Let it rain.
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