Happy New Year!
I can't believe what a year this has been. Only now, here at the end have I started to understand what God might be trying to accomplish in my life.
Since the end of June I've been out of regular, full-time work. Mostly we've survived by the graciousness and giving hearts of our friends and family, Wendy's teaching job, and my ongoing work as a temporary employee at various assignments around town.
When it first became apparent that I wasn't going to get a new job right away, Wendy and I both wondered what God could be up to. We both thought, "We've already been through a time of testing like this once before. Haven't we already learned this lesson? Why would God need to put us through this again?"
Now I realize that this reaction itself revealed my spiritual pride. As if I had nothing to learn about humility from God.
Lately I've been working at a real estate investment firm and sitting for hours on end doing monotonous data entry and repetitious address clean-up. It's become a real struggle for me to sit at my desk, hour after hour, and do my best while my flesh is desperate for even the mildest stimulation or break in the monotony. This has been my cross. Literally, God has been using this assignment, and the others before it, to lay me down upon the cross and nail my flesh into submission.
Recently I came across a great quote from one of my favorite spiritual writers. Here's what it said:
"It is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until He has hurt him deeply." — A. W. Tozer; "Glorify his name! Root of the Righteous" Chapter 39.
So far our family has survived on the manna of heaven. Just like the Israelites, we've grumbled about having to eat manna. Just like the Israelites, we've had to learn that eating from the hand of God is really a good thing.
I know that God has something for me and that in His time He will reveal it and provide this new job. Until then, my calling is to learn to submit to Him in humility and obedience.
"Trust and Obey, for there's no other way, to be happy in Jesus...but to Trust and Obey" -Hymn
I pray that in this New Year I can learn to really die to myself and humbly submit to His loving care. I need to learn humility. I need to die to myself.
"Conversatio Morem!"
-kg
It's so hard, though, isn't it? I mean, I'm with you. There truly is no other way. I agree. I guess I struggle with what action to take when it comes to really wanting to trust God. I hear people say too often, "Well I'm trusting God with that..." whether it's a job or a wife or a work problem or whatever...and they're not doing anything about it. I pray that you'll find the happy medium of truly surrendering the scenario to God and busting butt to get out of it. :) Bless you!
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